“We must become the change we want to see in the world” – Gandhi
When the program that runs in a female body gets corrupted by various viruses named project “HURT”, there is a malfunctioning that takes place which consistently produces an output called ALL MEN ARE BAD. A female, without thinking it through, will spurt this sentence to her male friends as if the male friend is not even included in the “all men are bad syndrome”. This simply means she has moved from a logical platform to an illogical one. Well, how do we solve this heart ache symptom? I believe an antivirus should be injected into their system to produce a different output called “ALL MEN ARE DIFFERENT”
A lady is born. “Wow” there is rejoicing in the earth (well, at least her parents are happy). Her first sit, crawl, stand and walk is celebrated with much enthusiasm, she goes through various formal institutions in life facing various challenges from exams to human differences. She has a goal, so no matter the stress she goes through in this uncongenial environment; she comes out of it a winner and breathes a sigh of relieve and actually celebrates it. But when it comes to the almighty committed relationship, she gives up at any sign of stress; she holds on to her ideal and hope everything works out. What do you think? I think I should develop an axiom for her;
“Before you graduate from the institution called Committed Relationship, you must pass one of the most difficult exams called Selflessness 101″
One of the indications that we don’t understand something is failure. So when a relationship fails, it simply means we need to retract, stay all night if need be, check out your mistakes, master them and go for the exam and this time with an attitude of “I am willing to give it my best shot”. When the ALL MEN ARE BAD attitude resurfaces and you secretly want to get married then two laws are functioning in your body. You must change the output to ALL MEN ARE DIFFERENT so you can understand you are in a different terrain and easily face the challenges that come with it.
“You cannot blame your circumstances for what you create”.
When ever a woman says a man is bad, what she does not understand is that she herself is bad because humans do not attract what they want, but who they are. Not what they pray and wish for, but that who they are. So you must improve yourself to the level of what you want, to get what you want. Maybe an anecdote might help;
Here is a lady approached by a married man (without her prior knowledge of the marital status). He trips her, spends money on her, and promises her marriage to sleep with her. She caves in and becomes deeply emotionally involved. Then comes the bombshell, she finds out he is married. She becomes distress and seems justified to curse and rain abuses on him but she remains emotionally messed up. She becomes skeptical about men that come her way and resolves in her heart not to allow such happen to her again. No matter the shade of men that comes her way, her perspective is never to go through the same emotional pain again, so she tries not to get involve emotionally until she is sure.
Sure? Sure of what? This woman did not analyze herself to see the vices that blinded her to this deception. She did not check her lust, greed and selfishness. There is no complete overhaul of her internal process and she expects to be attracted to the right man. Even if the right man comes her way, she would not recognize him because she is not equipped to. Her neurons simply translates a good man to be tall rich and handsome. Even if she gets married, she will compromise a lot, to keep the relationship going or the relationship deteriorates and she ends up in the same cycle.
Lara closed her bible which she did not refer to and believed she could hear a pin drop in a room of about 5,000 single females; she simply walked out of the stage, paced out of the hall and headed straight to her car.
This is a sequel to Lonely Londoner.
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14 comments
4 pings
July 11, 2006 at 4:57 am (UTC 1)
thank you for your comment
July 11, 2006 at 3:57 pm (UTC 1)
Hey Man love the site… Keep living the dream… Fuck all those pussy faggs at Ubersite… They are all lame hippy cocksuckers!!
July 12, 2006 at 9:20 pm (UTC 1)
xcellent writing, please to visit my website
July 31, 2006 at 4:11 pm (UTC 1)
Dipo, Do you have Akismet setup properly, all the previous comments on this post are obviously spam. You should sort them out.
Great writing by the way, really deep stuff, as usual.
September 27, 2006 at 3:49 pm (UTC 1)
AS A WOMAN, A YOUNG WOMAN AND ONE WHO IS NOT A NOVICE AT THE ‘I’VE BEEN HURT’ STORY, I THINK U SHOULD NOT BE HARSH ON THE WOMEN FOLK BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO A COIN. GUYS ARE AS MUCH AS FAULT IN BAD RELATIONSHIPS AS LADIES ARE. IT’D MAKE FOR BETTER CONSUMPTION FOR U TO PUT BOTH SIDES TOGETHER. LET IT NOT BE AS IF THE SOLUTION TO BAD RELATIONSHIPS IS ABOUT WOMEN CHANGING THEIR EXPECTATIONS AND TAILORIN THEIR EXPECTATIONS IN A RELATIONSHIP TO FIT IN WITH GUYS’. GOOD READ.
October 3, 2006 at 7:30 am (UTC 1)
@ Gift
Your point is well taken. Thank you very much.
October 28, 2006 at 6:57 pm (UTC 1)
Good read. However, a balanced presentation would have made for easier consumption. We must recognise that A woman invests her self, in fact her life, in the life of her man. Her world revolves around her man and this is what most men unfortunately takes advantage of.
The woman is like a fertile soil that grow whatever is planted therein. Treat your woman right and she will remain devoted to you. The “All men are bad” syndrome will never exist if the first man to win a woman’s heart approaches the relationship with honesty of purpose and truth. A woman is very impressionable but faithful and loyal. Treat her right and she will remain devoted to your for ever despite your failings, treat her wrongly and discover the real meaning of “the earth has no fury like a woman scorned”.
Guys, a woman is what a man makes her to become. Think about it, you know am right.
February 5, 2007 at 6:46 pm (UTC 1)
Dipo please can you reinstate our discussion topic on who will be Nigerias next president , as you could see the gist was really getting very sweet!
July 16, 2008 at 11:54 am (UTC 1)
hi, i read the ‘ all men are are bad” syndrome and i could relate. however in the example you used, the girl in question was some easy chick, so like you said she attracted the “bad” boy type but bad things also happen to good people which can also elicit the rationalization that all men are bad. that said,i agree that there are a few good men and to be fair not all women are good either but i guess the point is not to go around carrying on the inside a belief that works against what you want to see on the outside- a good man.
July 8, 2009 at 8:35 am (UTC 1)
Hmnn… no comment!!!
May 22, 2010 at 3:08 pm (UTC 1)
Are u a pschologist, a prophet or what? how did u get all these insight about marriage and especially their thought. well u have described my situation .am tired i want to runaway to anew life.
June 17, 2011 at 8:12 am (UTC 1)
I should say, a very nice one here… Didn’t know a site like this exists.. Well, how exactly do you empower Nigerians financially? I would really love to know… Thanks in anticipation of your reply.
June 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm (UTC 1)
great insight; thanks for doing the “write-thing” on this …
June 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm (UTC 1)
Clever title, impressive essay.
LOVE WAN TITI - Dipo Tepede.POeT says:
August 30, 2006 at 6:22 pm (UTC 1)
[...]  ME: Tell me about yourself; your believes and values Yinka: Another problem is that he likes partying and drinking; there is no party in town that he does not attend; this can so piss me off. ME: that’s not the real problem Yinka: oh really; I think a guy should have a sense of responsibility at least ME: sense of responsibility is a perspective issue Yinka: alright ME: do you like yourself and really want to be happy? Yinka: Yes now; yes ME: Please, answer my questions Yinka: Alright ME: How many relationships have you had? Yinka: 3 serious ones ME: Do you consider Emeka a serious relationship Yinka: to some extent yes but it could be better ME: What attracted you to him? Yinka: I enjoy his company and it was a long time I dated someone; he actually came at a time I needed someone ME: from the personal story you have told me, he loves you. Yinka: Well, I have been bad sha ME: We must ascertain if you love him Yinka: Love is a strong word ME: Love is not a noun but a verb – Love is not very strong, it is what you make of it. Yinka: OK ME: U are actually the issue here not him Yinka: Really  ME: You have half your heart in the relationship and you want it to work Yinka: Putting everything in it is scary; what if it does not work? I will now be heart broken ME: Any which way your heart will be broken; you are worried about the heart being broken when you are already broken with worry.  Well, I think I will this where I will stop for now. Relationship gets complicated because of the definitions we give to love. We even worry over the problems we cause. We always look at the wrong things instead of the important things.  This is a wonderful reference for your reading; click ALL MEN ARE BAD  [...]
What’s Love Got to Do with it? - Dipo Tepede.POeT says:
October 9, 2006 at 11:53 am (UTC 1)
[...] is a personal relationship with God through His Holy Spirit………… Listen to this podcast Incoming Links (via Tecnorati):No results found No results were found forhttp://www.dipotepede.org/2006/10/09/what’s-love-got-to-do-with-it Written by Dipo Akin Tepede on October 9th, 2006 with no comments. Read more articles on Re-Imagine. [...]
X-MAS GIFT - Dipo Tepede.POeT says:
December 23, 2007 at 8:19 am (UTC 1)
[...] 6. All Men Are Bad. CLICK HERE [...]
SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF: Dipo Tepede.POeT says:
September 9, 2009 at 1:18 am (UTC 1)
[...] has developed a chronic belief that ALL MEN HAVE INFIDELITY ISSUE. She did not just come to this position by a single aha moment, she has developed this position [...]