“For love is as strong as death!
Many waters cannot quench love; neither can the floods drown it: If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.†Â
My first love; I remember her very vividly as the first day I saw her conjure the exact image of her beautiful light toe to her neatly tucked-in hair bouncing across her shoulder with a regal grace. She was the only one visible amongst one thousand females in Amphi. My heart wandered on; it was beating so fast that I lost count of the rhythm. How I wish I could take a picture of myself then so that I can be sure I was the one with this erratic behavior. But as days go by, weeks draw near and months crawled on with my thoughts filled with her ravishing face, my heart longed to experience her presence and my eyes popped to her magnificent figure.  I hoped this feeling will never wane. Oh was I wrong!
Love is a subject that often attracts the greatest attention from the fully convicted atheist to the adept believer. It is a universal language that transcends all culture, race and country. It is actually the theme of the best selling movies to the best selling music. What ever the event is, if you integrate love, you will always be on point. I wonder if that is why I am writing this article to attract you to read it but I guess not. This is because it is a very difficult subject to broach. I actually don’t like writing about love may be because it has become very complicated or it is difficult to define but I like to improve the lives of my fellow humans so was I moved when people are affected by this love syndrome experienced in relationships especially between man and woman ( apologies to gays).
Here is a story, to set you on;Yinka – a female – is confused about her 3 months relationship. She is not sure of the future because Emeka seems to be acting inconsistently. He gives excuses whenever she asked him over to her apartment and she is scared if there is any future between the both of them. She sees all the barriers ahead of her; he is not from the same ethnic group; he likes partying; he likes alcohol; he talks of not settling down soon. This thought has almost consumed her that she decided to talk to someone to lighten this burden weighing on her. Well she talked to me and below describes our conversation; which she permitted me to print, hope it helps you;
ME: How is Emeka?
Yinka: I have not seen him for the past three days
 ME: Has he called you?
Yinka: I am beginning to think he is involved with another girl
ME: Why the thought? Is it an intuition?
Yinka: I saw a funny text on his phone so I’ve just being wondering
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ME: give me a summary
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Yinka: just a funny text and something like “I still love u” he was actually reading it in front of me
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ME: okÂ
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Yinka: I’ve just being thinking about what will happen if it doesn’t work out eventually
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ME: I don’t think that is the issue
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Yinka: so what do u think the issue is?
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ME: the issue is not about it working out but if you trust him
Yinka: that exactly is the problem “TRUST”
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ME: Well, I have to ask some personal question if you don’t mind; this will give me a clearer picture of the issue
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Yinka: hmmmmmmmm, like, ok shoot.
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The personal questions and answers were edited because every one is different in this stead.
  ME: Tell me about yourself; your believes and valuesÂ
 ME: Tell me about yourself; your believes and values
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Yinka: Another problem is that he likes partying and drinking; there is no party in town that he does not attend; this can so piss me off.
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ME: that’s not the real problem
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Yinka: oh really; I think a guy should have a sense of responsibility at least
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ME: sense of responsibility is a perspective issue
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Yinka: alright
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ME: do you like yourself and really want to be happy?
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Yinka: Yes now; yes
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ME: Please, answer my questions
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Yinka: Alright
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ME: How many relationships have you had?
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Yinka: 3 serious ones
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ME: Do you consider Emeka a serious relationship
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Yinka: to some extent yes but it could be better
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ME: What attracted you to him?
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Yinka: I enjoy his company and it was a long time I dated someone; he actually came at a time I needed someone
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ME: from the personal story you have told me, he loves you.
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Yinka: Well, I have been bad sha
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ME: We must ascertain if you love him
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Yinka: Love is a strong word
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ME: Love is not a noun but a verb – Love is not very strong, it is what you make of it.
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Yinka: OK
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ME: U are actually the issue here not him
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Yinka: ReallyÂ
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ME: You have half your heart in the relationship and you want it to work
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Yinka: Putting everything in it is scary; what if it does not work? I will now be heart broken
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ME: Any which way your heart will be broken; you are worried about the heart being broken when you are already broken with worry.Â
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Well, I think this is where I will stop for now and continue in my subsequent post. Relationship gets complicated because of the definitions we give to love. We even worry over the problems we cause. We always look at the wrong things instead of the important things.
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This is a wonderful reference for your reading; click ALL MEN ARE BAD
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6 comments
3 pings
September 6, 2006 at 7:19 am (UTC 1)
@ Nike
I am considering your opinion very seriously but it still does not rythm with the principle. I will definitely write about this ASAP!
Please, check it out!
September 5, 2006 at 8:07 pm (UTC 1)
Hi Dipo,
I’m sorry I was a little too forward there, what I’m trying to say is the men in Naija are nice, but here in the US it seems sistas have to guard their hearts a little more. I’m not saying your happiness depends on a man, I’m simply saying there are many players out there and it’s important to make sure the object of your affection is actually a faithful man, and not a player.
I think a lot of good men look at it from their perspective and wonder why women say all men are bad, not all men are bad but it’s important to guard your heart in every situation.
I’m not saying my or any other woman’s happiness depends on the love a man showers, I’m just saying be sure his motives are right before you put your whole heart it. I’m not implying anything, all I’m saying is a broken heart may mend, but sometimes the scars remain.
September 5, 2006 at 7:17 am (UTC 1)
Wow Nike,
Thank you very much for that insight!
You mean you have to wait for a man to love you before you love the man?
You mean your happiness depends on the love a man showers to you?
Your decision to love a man is based on the love he first showed you?
Are you implying that Man and woman is different in love issues but not different in right issues?
Some women claim rights to everything this days and fail to take responsibility for their happiness. Na waoooo. Come to think of it, I have not finished the story.
Let me just let you ponder on this scripture; God made man; male and female He made them.
September 4, 2006 at 5:31 pm (UTC 1)
I meant Yinka not Funmi, my bad…
September 4, 2006 at 5:29 pm (UTC 1)
Dipo,
You’re a guy and I don’t know why you’re telling the girl to put her whole heart in, cearly Emeka is not fully into it either, as I always like to say, God so loved us “first” and gave his only begotten son for us, and so now we love Him. The man gives first, you don’t put your whole heart in and give all of yourself to someone who doesn’t appreciate you, that’s simply a recipe for heartbreak.
She either loves him or she doesn’t, she either trusts him or she doesn’t, actually it sounds like she doesn’t trust him but she likes him a lot. My personal opinion is that he sound’s like a guy about town and she want’s to settle down, “how can 2 walk together except they agree?” I ask you my brother? Funmi, like the book says “he’s not that into you”!
September 2, 2006 at 4:54 pm (UTC 1)
LOVE WAN TITI
This story sounds really familiar and i was beginning to think you were actually talking about me. I look forward to the conclusion of this very article/story in order to contribute and learn from it.
You have acutally inspired me!
My Blog » Blog Archive » 7 REASONS WHY FEMALES GET HURT IN RELATIONSHIP says:
September 7, 2008 at 8:30 am (UTC 1)
[...] wonder why I keep putting off the sequel to the piece “LOVE WAN TITI†despite my readers craving to see the conclusion. Well to tell the truth, I have not been [...]
What’s Love Got to Do with it? - Dipo Tepede.POeT says:
October 9, 2006 at 11:54 am (UTC 1)
[...] It is very easy to pass the blame on the guy and it even seems justifiable to do so but on a deeper perspective both the Boston lady and the Nigerian lady have their share in the whole issue. Perusing my older articles like You Get What you Deserve, All Men are Bad, 7 Reasons why Females get Hurt in Relationship and Love Wan Titi would provide the needed answers. The only option to avoiding this scenario is a personal relationship with God through His Holy Spirit………… [...]
7 REASONS WHY FEMALES GET HURT IN RELATIONSHIP - Dipo Tepede.POeT says:
September 19, 2006 at 9:32 am (UTC 1)
[...] I wonder why I keep putting off the sequel to the piece “LOVE WAN TITI†despite my readers craving to see the conclusion. Well to tell the truth, I have not been sleeping well so I have lost all effort to write. I forced myself to sleep at 3.00am this morning after entertaining myself with the DVD – 24, Season 5. The film was so gripping that I forgot the time and the fact that I had to work the next day. I was immediately awoken at 6.00a.m to do my normal chores before bolting to work when this article I am about to write came to me [...]