I love your comment!

good one.................

NB: we've beem married 5yrs with two kids and he still wants all the attention, men are really babies aren't they?I've actually been very busy for the past 4 weeks with work and a professional exam around the corner.

**The point is if u see a man u like and u feel he also has some feelings for u, go 4 him gal! give him some attention, men love attention too.

Specifically regarding our feminine homo sapien species, especially those with melanin (black pigment on the surface of the skin), they expect the men to make the moves to initiate a relationship, make the moves to tie the knot (proposing marriage), make the moves to do the act for producing offspring ... this is the part i really do not understand.

Even when you're alone with them in a room, they'd rather just sit and talk with you instead of making the move to kiss or ..., no matter how much they may actually want to. They just seem to believe it would be wrong of them.

This might not be such a wrong form of conditioning for some men but for others, it makes them feel the women folk are not sensual enough or are not physically attracted to them. The physical attraction in a relationship has to be seen to mutual.

Some of our women folk need to find a balance between being sensual and being decent! Just my opinion!!!

This does not preclude the fact that men also have their own various forms of conditioning too.

Thank you for this piece, I very much agree with you on this subject matter. You see «God works in mysterious ways His wonder to perform» but, we humans always like to think that we can reduce His words to our own understanding. The scripture that says «he who finds a wife» in this context should not be mistaken for it must be the man that must do the asking. Going back to the Bible, I think alot of reference is made where women led in the salvation of their family, nation and even the world.

We should at no time condition the minds of ladies to assume that they have to wait for us. At the point of His resurrection, Jesus appeared to Mary. Why? why not a man or does it not matter?

How about Ruth and Boaz, what do we call her stategic positioning? Ruth 3 verses 1-4.

As a man, I will definitely respect any lady that has feelings for me and will never treat her ruthlessly even if I dont feel the same way. I believe that can be resolved.

I await part II in earnest.

Thanx for visiting!

Another big mistake is assuming your experience is a good pointer to make a final resolution on an issue.

I, personally do not have relationship with ladies that stress me. I consider the stress as the answer I need. I like ladies that know what they want and are bold enough to go for it. In fact most of my lady friends have never stressed me, the ones that have stressed me, I dont think I can remember them today. So you see we are in a different boat that is why there is no formula.

If a lady shows you she likes you and you treat her like dirt or you feel you cannot hold it together with her. Guess what dear? It's your big loss, not hers. The same thing happens to guys that show ladies they like them too much, the ladies eventually takes them for granted.

If a lady likes you and you like her. If she tells you her feelings, you would jump over the roof top very happy. The only reason for misbehaviour is if you do not feel the lady too and that can happen both ways ( I mean for a man that tell a lady his feeling).

We have been conditioned to believe that you must stress yourself to get a lady; Guess what, it's all in the mind.....

Dipo, you just had to go and stir the hornet's nest with this one abi.

Anyways, I've made my comments into a post on my blog. Check it out.

This what you copied

«Whether any techniques at all exist that will actually work to change thought and behavior to the degree that the term “brainwashing” connotes is a controversial and at times hotly debated question.»

End of Discussion

Please allow me to explain thus:

Firstly, the writer fails woefully when it comes to identifying «learned» instincts and «natural» instincts.

Those that fail to understand the above are easily recognised. They are those misled individuals that say that men and women are really the same if not for social pressures and programming.

Everyone who ever raised a small boy and a little girl knows that the hunter/gather nature of the boy, and the arranger/cherisher nature of the girl starts as «basic» instincts from the moment they are able to display anything remotely resembling a personality.

They would also argue that if women «borrowed» men's hunter instinctual behaviour, they would achieve more results in the thing that they desire...BUT the key question is this: «do men and women desire the same thing, and do males and females appreciate the same things»?

The answer - to someone that has not become brain-dead owing to Political Correctness - is an emphatic NO.

Who does not know that men are «suspicious» of women who come on too strong?

And who does not know that the secret desire of all women (at least those still in touch with their femininity) is to be the subject of desires of strong men? Even to the point where the men draw their «swords» and «do battle» to gain her attention and affection?

Men already have a problem with commitment to ladies that they expend energy and resources in gaining their affection; imagine the situation where they have not had to expend any bother to gain a lady's «goods» and then you understand the silly proposition that is contained in the email below.

The concept of the «lady and the tramp» is engrained in the deepest instincts of the male race - and to pretend otherwise will land you not a veritable husband, but charlatans and no-gooders who will plunder the castle and pi** in the moat as they leave at first light.

Daughters of Eve, respect yourselves and pander not to the «binge-drinking, misguided, slackers of the now-generation».

I can just imagine Ade (a male) talking to his mother about Shade (a slack female):

MUM: «Tell me again Ade where did you and Shade meet; and why does she not realise that a lady crosses her legs when wearing such a short skirt?»

AUNTY: «True Ade. Tell me about her background. Was she in medical school with you?»

ADE (Fidgets in discomfort): Actually we worked together. And it was during one night when she had drunk too much that I found her hands wandering around my jeans. And before you could say «happy slapper» we were in the back of my car, and Bobs your uncle. I later found out she is a very intelligent and nice girl from an excellent family. But the best thing about her is that she is very emancipated and thinks-outside-the-box»

He gets bolder: «In fact, she is such an advanced thinker that she does not need any man to validate her and she has let me understand that if I ever do anything remotely resembling an Alpha-Male, she will quickly have her hands all over my friends' jeans»

«I plan to behave myself as a renaissance man once we have concluded the up-coming wedding in Ayede-Ekiti».

«Aunty, I hope you still plan to sponsor the wedding reception».

Can everyone see the ridiculous nature of these I-have-come-to-London-and-am-now-a-law-unto-myself pretenders that call themselves Africans?

Anyhow, I trust that most of us are above the «I-cant-be-bovvered mentality that this email represents.

When the ladies become the tramps, you wonder where the gentlemen of Chivalry of yesteryears have gone.

I can see it all now:

ADE (slouching on the Sofa on a Monday noontime): I wonder why are always complaining about my not finding work. Did I tell you I was ready to get married when I met you? Was it not you hustling and pushing me into marriage? Madam Desperado. Abeg leave me o jare. If not for me, you for find Husband?»

Trust me; only the most stupid person thinks it is a good idea to propose to an African man - least of all a Yoruba (who traditionally have strong family ties).

After Ade «chops» the goods and moves on, maybe you try Akin, and then Abiola, Adamu, Abimbola, Afayose, Abisola, etc...

...I have to go look after my kids...later all
@Dipo and all

But i wont Lie I agree with miguel.