@ Dipo.... Oga Dipo na wa O!...I am just minding my own business, commenting on a post, you say we have a score to settle (lol)

@ Jane I hope you know I am only advocating MARRIED women to be more expressive to there own Husbands o!!.

@ Dipo, I will repeat in marriage you should be opened about needs and wants, not asking a guy out...I say again (you shall not change my mind on this).

PS: where did I deviate from ppl??

(lol) Man versus Ape; I should really think about that..........

I expected the replies I am getting.

You wanted Ade to read the signs which is openning up and it is not different from directly asking Ade.

If you wanted Ade to read the signs then there is no difference between openning up and asking a guy out!

It's all about communicating............

@ Luminus

(lol)

Ade is not dull, he is trying to clarify the sign. This Transcript is from my new novel coming soon called «Memoirs of a Virgin». Ade has learnt never to be too forward with women because you can never really learn the signs. Ade wanted Mary to say as it is.

@ TLOASCM

Don't mind our digression. Angela and I are just settling some score. We would be expecting your comment.

Where on God's earth did you get that transcript form, I'm pretty sure you made it up, God knows I wouldn't even be in a relationship with someone who's that dull.

You've portrayed Ade as
1.)Stupid, ok, I think stupid is harsh so maybe dull would just do, but he's still plain stupid...lol
2.)Like Angela said, as though Sex was some sort of chore for which he needed fore warning or special instructions.

C'mon, the average guy is firing from all cylinders and takes subtle hints in that direction, or maybe I should just speak for myself.

Well there is a possible No. 3. which would be that he's just downright cheeky and was looking at putting Mary on the spot.

Ok, Ok, enough of that, as always Angela is spot on and YES, there is a difference between a woman being open and actually asking a guy out.

First of all ..

I dont think I am happy with Mary's reply to Ade's are you asking for Sex? questions....She really should have said yes.

But later let him know that she whould like him to take the lead (cos we women are like that) we like to be wooed even when we have been married for a 100yrs (lol)

Ade on the other hand is a bit dull (as you guys say it in 9ja) Sex in marriage is in itself a time of fellowship....so all that let us pray business is out of order. Ade sound as if sex for him is all about procreation. (Did they not have any counselling before they got married?)

Mary expressed are feelings and Ade was not sensitive enough...and girlfriend had to tell him straight up...

In MARRIAGE both partners should be VERY clear and explicit of each other needs.

P. S ... after they have being married for a while the brother better know when his wife is giving him signs...and not make the girl have to spell it out.

What a neat way of escaping this one?

There is no difference between openning up and asking a guy out!

Check this out - (For married relationship - Ade and Mary are married)

Mary - «Honey you have not slept with me for 10 days now?»

Ade - » Are you asking me for sex?»

Mary - » I wont put it like that»

Ade - » then how would you put it»

Mary - » I just wanted you to know how I feel»

Ade - » Ok, now I know, Why dont we pray, then sleep; i have to wake up tomorrow to an early meeting»

Mary - » you dont care about how I feel»

Ade - » Are you acusing me of something?»

mary - » No, I just wanted you to know how I felt»

Ade - » Ok, now I know, why not lets pray, i am sure the feelings would disappear, you know i have to go to that early meeting before flying to Abuja for that conference for 1 week.»

Mary - «Pray ko, pray ni, let' s make love jo»

Ade - » Are u serious?»

Mary - She looks at him with a long stare «YES»

Ade - «You would have said that since instead of wasting my time, Ok, lets get to bed»

So what do you think, my dear Angela........

...so do you think we should examine the statement?

Over to you Dipo.

I dont like controversy, I just say it as it is (lol)

Ok dear, you raised a very important point and I am very happy about it, we need to examine it;

«and we women should stop making assumptions that men know what we want (we dont know what we want sometimes) If you want more romance tell him and vice verse if he does not know how to teach him or vice versa
My advice will be TALK! TALK! TALK and enjoy the journey of this thing call marriage.»

But you disagreed with me when I said female should learn how to open up in 7 REASONS WHY FEMALE GET HURT .........

Angela, are you not becoming controversial?

You Like controversy....It all good I'll flow.

Now, we all know man and women are different like you have said but I even believe Husbands and wives are even more complexes at list in the first 5-10yrs of marriage.
As someone that has been married for over that amount of years and has experiences the bumps and turns of it all. I would add, in marriage the sooner you are accept your partner (husband/wife) the sooner you would have peace and begin to enjoy one anther.
What do I mean?
The biggest mistake and the beginning of the end of a marriage would be to idealise your partner as perfect, cos no one is.
There will always be pain and frustration in a marriage when you expect your partner to be the SOURCE of your happiness.
The whole concept of LOVE is another thing....As we `have said in this forum a couple of postings ago...Love is not about feeling...it is about commitment, it is a Choice.
so...it is not a Man Vs Woman, not a battle. We are different but when we come together we a formidable force.
The enemy of marriage is neither man nor woman....it is the devil ... he has been playing that tick from creation.
So I would say Love one another, feel free to express hurts and pain (not as a criticism)
and we women should stop making assumptions that men know what we want (we dont know what we want sometimes) If you want more romance tell him and vice verse if he does not know how to teach him or vice versa
My advice will be TALK! TALK! TALK and enjoy the journey of this thing call marriage.