Wow its weekend again, TGIS. This is the first in an ongoing series of “ask D POeT†and I would encourage my dear readers to advise Mr. NYSC on what he should do to combat this serious emotional pain he is going through. I would want your no holds bar and sincere advice by putting yourself in his shoes. This guy needs your help not your judgment; please kindly say something that bring succor to his soul and make him better. We will meet in the comment arena! Ciao
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Dear Dipo,
 You are the first person am sharing this problem with, I graduated in January 2004 and went for the mandatory NYSC in march 10th 2005 and was deployed to Ebonyi state.
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  Prior to this time I had a girl I have always preferred to call my wife because of the traits inherent in her. No sooner had I resumed in Abakaliki than I met a girl, it first started as a joke but when she moved her things to my lodge I was to understand that I was in.
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Whenever I traveled home my girlfriend complained that I was not giving her the due attention which was true, that led to the breaking up of that age long relationship. I was content that I still had someone to tenaciously hold onto.
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Reality started dawning on me when we were getting to the end of the service year. As am writing this I have lost both, though we still speak on phone with the service girl.
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To crown everything up I am yet to get a job that leaves me more confused. The reason for this piece is that my mind is still with my age long girlfriend which someone told me is in a new relationship. I am messed up and do not know what to do.
MR. NYSC
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13 comments
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September 19, 2007 at 10:56 am (UTC 1)
Why must NYSC insist on not having pregnat women to be be fully deployed. If their problem is the health risk in the camp, why do they still “pursue” even after the Camp. Instead of banning them outright, they should make those who wish to serve to sign an undertaking that any risk is their own liability. Or is having a baby now a crime?
February 13, 2007 at 12:38 pm (UTC 1)
Omo my guy,women no worth all the stress,just face life and the issues at hand,like a good job,then see the wonders that will happen
January 18, 2007 at 4:23 pm (UTC 1)
Hmm! wot a sad tale but hey!u have learnt the hard way.Now put urself 2gether and get on with life.like my predecessor stsrted wots urs will never pass u by.cheers
December 29, 2006 at 2:36 pm (UTC 1)
hi mr playboy,in the first instance,u were not sincere with ur 1st lady,i am presently going thru somthin similar,my lady is servin in jos and she has changed seriously,i am not worrin my head cuz wot is mine will never go pass me,pick up and face life,brother
December 2, 2006 at 11:51 am (UTC 1)
it is not fault but u ve failed to control ur feeling at the right time.u can still go back to ur longtime girl friend and narrate everything to her.let her realise that ur feeling deceives u.u can start all over again.i am sure she will understand.
December 1, 2006 at 5:57 pm (UTC 1)
dear i-thought-i-was-smart,
sorry
November 30, 2006 at 7:42 am (UTC 1)
Hi Mr. NYSC,
Sorry about all that is happening to u. though u cursed every thing yourself but u can still do one important thing which is:
Appologising to your longtime girl friend which i feel deserve it and u ask 4 her forgiveness. If she does forgive you good 4 u but if she does not, it will be the best time to learn from ur mistake and move on with your life.As for getting a job, God’s time is the best.
Greg.
November 27, 2006 at 2:39 pm (UTC 1)
Hi Mr. NYSC,
am sorry about your experience, though it is your fault that you are in this predicament. Anyhow, you are not the first person this has happened to. During the NYSC,so many marriages and serious relationships have been broken as a result of unfaithfulness on the part of one or both partners. What I suggest you do is to take it as an experience cos i guess you learnt a lot from that. It won’t be easy but you have to try and build a new relationship. Make sure you are more committed and faithful this time around. Dont go on a vengeance spree cos it wont pay you. The success of man is not measured by the number of times he falls but the number of times he stands up.
November 27, 2006 at 8:48 am (UTC 1)
Mr NYSC,
Honestly, you are to be blamed for what happened and not NYSC. Raphael & Kehinde have actually said it all. You simply have to pick up from where u are and go on with life. But i believe you would have learnt a very good lesson from this mistake which is “You should always appreciate what you have at hand rather than what you’re reaching for”. Well, you have toforget the past and move on with your life, I’ll only implore you to learn from your past and do not let it stop u from having relationship.
One more thing, always try and be faithful to your partner and try to bridge the communication gap whenever there’s one
Stay cool and remain focused
November 27, 2006 at 7:14 am (UTC 1)
there is no need crying over a spilt milk.What you need to do is go on with your life.A man said when you fall down,don’t stay there.Rather while on your way up, pick something.This will be a good lesson for any other relationship you will go into that you should be careful and not trade what you have built for some minutes pleasure.
November 26, 2006 at 10:52 pm (UTC 1)
..Well Raphael and Kehinde have said it best really, Move on and learn from your past. It’s not going to be easy, but that is life and that is how we grow….
November 25, 2006 at 12:45 pm (UTC 1)
@Mr NYSc,
NYSC didn’t terminate your relationship you just made the wrong choice at the wrong time.Im currently serving in one of the Northern States in the country and this is one topic i always find very interesting. Youth Corpers always make wrong choices during their service year. They sometimes feel they are far away from the rest of the world and no one is watching them so they can do whatever they like.Someone once said that your character is who you are when no one is watching. It’s good you’ve realised your mistake and its very sad that you lost on both sides. One thing i want you to know is that an exit is always an entrance to another place and for there to be a new beginning there must be an end to something. So pick up the pieces of your life and move on.Those girls were not meant to be yours in the first place and i’m sure you’ll definitely find your wife. Forget about the past mistakes and let your focus be on God and Im sure He’ll grant you your heart desires.
November 25, 2006 at 11:34 am (UTC 1)
Dear Mr. NYSC,
I must commend you for your boldness in writing this piece. Well, I understand what you are presently going through cos I went through a similar exeperience. I served in one of the northern states. I was had a thriving relationship till I went for my service. Three months into the service, I met a lady and we became friends. Soon we started a hot relationship that was the talk of our fellow corp members in the town where I was serving. My former girl complianed of my luke warm attitude but I was past caring, I had found a new love or so thought. It was towards the end of the service that it began to dawn on me that I was going to lose out in my new relationship.
After the service, I called my girl and I got the most shocking reception ever. Till date, I still get shivers each time I recall that phone conversation.
‘My girl’ told me to go to hell that it was over between us. That she had a 6 year old relationship and was I thinking that she should give that up just for me whom she knew in just 11 months.
She said that we just ‘helped ourselves’ while the affair lasted and that sholud I ever try anything funny, she’ll hunt me down and kill me.
Long story short, we have lost contact. I’ve picked up the pieces of my life and moved on. My former girl is in another relationship and I have been all alone since that year I bade NYSC farewell.
But I learnt an important lesson-though in the hard way. A bird in hand is worth 5 million in the bush.