I would be having guest bloggers in the house for the month of December to commemorate my six month anniversary. In view of this, we would be having an outstanding blogger today; check out her condensed profile and check out her write-up on “Love vs. Feelingsâ€. You would definitely love her style; she is got packs of nuggets and flair.
Guest Blogger:Â Angela
Occupation:Â Â Â Â Â Mother
Web site:Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â www.refinedone.wordpress.com
Writing Style:Â Â Bold and Inquisitive
Love has been described as a human experience that is manifested in feelings be it in behaviour, emotion or attitude to others in relationship or of one’s self.
The bible says Love is an attitude and action that is not determined by feelings or positive response from others deserving or undeserving. We can’t talk about Love and not quote 1 Corinthians 13:4-8Â
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 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.
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 Love is more than a feeling!
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  Love is demonstrative, it’s active, because we have been and are loved by God.
It did not say you love because you feel like only or love only those that deserve your love, but love without expecting anything in return. By the way that can only be possible if you operate in God’s kind of love-Agape. The other kinds of love are lot more based on Feelings, a more self centered love-sexual desire and physical craving, Erotic love-Eros, affections in a loving concern to a friend- PliosÂ
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When we realize that the best, safest and best kind of love is the God kind, not one base on feeling, cos feelings are changeable, unstable and can’t be truly trusted. They have the ability of distorting the truth.
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Feelings are good indictors of Love, but still that can be tested…..
lets look at marriage which is made up of two people committed to one another in Love not feelings…..Marriage is not sustained by just the feelings you get in the earlier days of courtship, when your man/woman walks in to a room or you think about them…..Remember when you were dating and your partner could not upset, cos you felt so happy! looking in to there eyes and dreaming of a future with them forever…when he picks from your food at dinner you thought it was oh so cute…but couple of year into marriage that same thing you found cute now irritated you so!…Well feelings will not keep you married for long, cos you are guaranteed to have bumps along the way … In fact you will feel hate for your partner at some time in the journey of your marriage.
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So what holds a marriage and keeps it strong during the times of shaking? But a vow, a commitment, a decision.
Love is not optional….Feelings are…Love is foundation, a corner stone nothing can be built without it….Feeling are ever changing.
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Which would you prefer to receive? Love or Feeling.
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In my opinion I would take love every time…..what’s your take?
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January 24, 2007 at 11:47 am (UTC 1)
@ Jane
Then what will happen when the boy can’t do these things anymore or if the boy can’t afford to do those things… what will then happen?
I see you point … but I just think she needs to articulate herself, honestly…and say what she wants…. when I hear a woman start talking about excitement … i wonder if she is not seeing another or has her eyes on another… ( i may be totally wrong) just thinking out loud!
January 23, 2007 at 7:55 am (UTC 1)
@ me
If she has found everything she wants in a future partner in you,except the spark or excitement, then she has not found it all. This is to say that there is nothing that excites her about the relationship.
I want you to re-define your relationship with her by making her open up to you. Let her tell you why the spark is not there.
There are so many things that she wants from you which you may have not been doing.
You may be showering a lady with gifts, that’s cool but she may prefer your presence. Write her poems, give her surprises, let her wake up finding a gift at her door step from you, take her for a boat ride, spend more time with her. I tell you she would definitely want to be yours forever.
January 11, 2007 at 9:47 am (UTC 1)
Hmmm…@ Me
I so feel you…but somehow understand what the lady is saying…
She want to feel excited about you about the relationship.…(that fair) but not necessarily important. She sound young (if dont mind me saying) … I am guess she is still at the age where she thinks she has Oh! so much to offer any guy, she is still looking for Frizzy pop! instead of Vintage wine (that longer it matures the better it taste ) aka substance … Now without try to sound hard on the lady … I would say give her some space for her to decide if she really is ready for a life time with you….Feeling do not sustain a marriage … There is a life time of getting to know one another, so if she want to use feelings to measure her Love…all I can say without being hard is…”She is not ready for marriage”…settle the matter asap!
I have more to say about this, but I’ll stop here for now:)
January 9, 2007 at 4:26 am (UTC 1)
Thank you all. I have a situation at hand, I am truely in love with some one but this person still feels that the needed spark for a marriage is the feeling and excitment of dating. Though this person acknowledged that all that she desired in man she’s found them in me except the spark. what do we call this? Love or a feeling? what can I do? I have tried several times to look ahead from this relationship, but then I have not received any leading to that effect. infact whenever I try, my spirit pricks me not to. I need a counsel cos am growing weary.
December 7, 2006 at 12:39 pm (UTC 1)
Love cannot be compromised. You cannot pretend to love because its from within. Love controls your totality when dealing with the person you love such that there are somethings you will never do to the person while to others you will take a decision against them without blinking your eyelid.You can pretend about your feelings, it can be controlled or manipulated. there is definetely a very wide gap between feelings and love. And i will choose love over and over again.
December 6, 2006 at 11:42 pm (UTC 1)
JUST THE WAY IT IS…..
Stop and think about this…..empty your mind…silence your ears…still your soul…and hear this gentle whisper:
“God is love”
Without being wordy or “preachy”, I conclude thus:
How you see yourself vis-a-vis others is a reflection of how much the love nature has seeped through your being.
When you attain a love-consciousness, you will see others in you; and yourself in others.
Think about it this way; no one is ever cruel to themselves…so whoever you treat spitefully has not been perceived as part of you.
Why do you think Christ said: “Love your neighbour as yourself”?
Love is NOTHING to do with how you are feeling (the voice of the body); but everything to do with WHO you are or see others to be (the identity of your spirit).
You are my brother and I LOVE you….that is why I wrote this specially for you!
You are important and special…it does not matter how I feel; it just the way it is”
December 6, 2006 at 11:20 am (UTC 1)
Hey guys, this is the continuation;
When we realize that the best, safest and best kind of love is the God kind, not one base on feeling, cos feelings are changeable, unstable and can’t be truly trusted. They have the ability of distorting the truth.
Feelings are good indictors of Love, but still that can be tested…..
lets look at marriage which is made up of two people committed to one another in Love not feelings…..Marriage is not sustained by just the feelings you get in the earlier days of courtship, when your man/woman walks in to a room or you think about them…..Remember when you were dating and your partner could not upset, cos you felt so happy! looking in to there eyes and dreaming of a future with them forever…when he picks from your food at dinner you thought it was oh so cute…but couple of year into marriage that same thing you found cute now irritated you so!…Well feelings will not keep you married for long, cos you are guaranteed to have bumps along the way … In fact you will feel hate for your partner at some time in the journey of your marriage.
So what holds a marriage and keeps it strong during the times of shaking? But a vow, a commitment, a decision.
Love is not optional….Feelings are…Love is foundation, a corner stone nothing can be built without it….Feeling are ever changing.
Which would you prefer to receive? Love or Feeling.
In my opinion I would take love every time…..what’s your take?