Sometimes, love doesn’t make sense.
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No, this is not another cheesy piece, extolling the virtues of foolishness, masqueraded as the “L†word. So, I won’t bother with the finer details of what “love†is (I don’t even know what it is) but just so no one thinks my IQ is a point less than 300, I’ll try something profound- I think it’s what makes you take a chance with someone you really care about.
Sometimes it’s the woozy at the knees kind, or the silly grin on your face kind. Sometimes it makes you think his hair-cut reminds you of then-black, then-handsome, then-rich, then-everything Michael or her sloppy grin reminds you of whichever girl, guys decide is at the moment, two steps to God…
Sometimes, it’s not all those; rather some calm, brook right under your diaphragm, showing a bit in that personal smile.
Anyway, I was playing Agony Aunt last week and my “subject†was a good friend of mine who enjoys the twin title of world’s smartest and silliest. My friend, let’s call him John, Smart, Silly John (SSJ for short), is about starting his PhD in some university (oh, I hate to drop names, but if you insist- It’s Oxford). SSJ has met some girl, who lives in a different country, of a different country, different culture, different everything- they barely even speak the same language. Worse still, they live in different universes- SSJ thinks his is a mistake caused by extreme head a la the Big Bang, while girlfriend lives in the one created in 7days complete with the Original Sin and Tower of Babel.
Yet, SSJ wants a relationship.
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Smart Alec, the very objective Ms Funmilayo, who doubles as psychologist here, clearly points out the disadvantages and disadvantages- the distance, the different lives, they’ll barely see each other, it wont work, etc. It is typically doomed from the start- an Abacha’s Abuja River Niger.
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SSJ is reasonable enough to assume that it may not work out but not after he told me the corniest thing- the line about loving and losing as opposed to not even loving at all. After a proper, Yoruba girl “She o ri e o pe†(political interpretation- are you okay), complete with the eye-nose twitch, I decided to pin my rapidly moving lips together.
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I suppose when you decide to find out, you go heart in hand, wishing it’ll work, brave enough to know it may blow up in your face and get your heart crushed, by those brave hands, aided by realities, yet you try anyways. I guess that’s something.
I hope that is… something.
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3 comments
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September 13, 2007 at 11:32 am (UTC 1)
i reallllllllllllllllllly enjoy your train of thots girl and i’ve been in the situation severally – as the advisor and also as the advised (havent we all?) but even though this situation seems a bit far-fetched, i’d like to think life takes on more meaning when we venture into the unknown but with good reason too. however, i’m one person who strongly advocates against long distance relationships all the time-for instance if i or my guy have to move esp. permanently, we should plan proactively to reunite together else we call it quits!!! (many pple say it’s harsh and i’m beginning to agree but….)
September 13, 2007 at 12:25 pm (UTC 1)
i dont subscribe to long distance relationships either, but the two individuals here concerned have more than distance to contend with. Fundamental is their differents beliefs. They both have to search within to see if they can cope with the other’s wildly diff belief. But on the other hand, if you check the quote of the day on this site “The world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation”, i’d say they should give it a trial, why kill yourself inside about what could have been when you never made any move to make it happen. if the feeling is mutual and truely heartfelt, we just might have a true life scenario of ‘love conquers all’.
January 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm (UTC 1)
@delagasky
great thots